Healthy Money Habits with Danetha Doe

Emily Thompson 0:02
I'm Emily Thompson.

Kathleen Shannon 0:04
And I'm Kathleen Shannon.

Emily Thompson 0:05
And this is Being Boss. And this Being Boss episode, I'm joined by Danetha Doe to talk about addressing your money stories and combating scarcity mindset and tips for building a solid financial foundation. As always, you can find all the tools, books and links we reference on the show notes at www.beingboss.club.

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Emily Thompson 1:35
Danthea Doe is the creator of Money and Mimosas, a financial well being resource enjoyed by readers in over 50 countries. Danthea has been named a personal finance expert by Fast Company and the Wall Street Journal. She was recognized as a millennial thought leader by the Hong Kong Institute of CPAs. And a millennial entrepreneur to watch by the Office of Congresswoman Barbara Lee. Danthea is the star financial expert in the TV series Going From Broke produced by Ashton Kutcher, which garnered over 12 million views in it's first season. A former NFL cheerleader turned money maven and entrepreneur Danthea believes that charting your own path is the key to financial freedom. And if you'd like to get caught up on Danthea we've had her on the podcast before episode number 168. Hi, Danthea. I'm so glad that you have joined us today. How are you doing?

Danetha Doe 2:31
I'm good, Emily, I'm feeling at peace and focused and super excited to reconnect with you and dive into our conversation.

Emily Thompson 2:40
Right. So you were last here with us on being boss back in 2018. Eight, I just looked it up. It was actually March 2018. So we're recording this. In March, two years ago, we were hanging out together and we were talking about money mindset and energy. And I remember it being like just one of the most energizing conversations especially about money that Kathleen and I had ever had. We loved having you on so much. But it's been two years since we've really connected. What have you been up to?

Danetha Doe 3:10
Oh my gosh, I can't believe it's like two years to the day. That's awesome. Well, so much has changed and so much hasn't changed as well. What has changed, Money and Mimosas is my baby that's continuing to grow. She can now walk by herself. She's starting to make her own food. Starting to.

Emily Thompson 3:33
That's a perfect analogy right? Give her a spoon, and she can feed herself some yogurt.

Danetha Doe 3:41
We're working on it. But she's now Money and Mimosas is my platform to spread tools and information around how to elevate your self worth and net worth. We now have readers in 56 countries, which is really exciting. Really exciting. And what else is new? I did a TV show since the last time we chatted.

Emily Thompson 4:03
Right? No no don't don't move on from that yet. About this TV show. I saw that you were doing one. Super jelly. If you're if anyone who's listening this will remember Kathleen wants nothing more than a Netflix show.

Danetha Doe 4:18
It's happening.

Emily Thompson 4:21
Right? Good. We can make that happen. But when we saw you were on, or you had one for us it was like a what's it called in manifestation when you see someone who's able to do that first, I can't remember what the word is. But you have become that like example that like bosses who were doing things can get their own TV show. So tell us about that. Tell us, tell us about your TV series. How that went down. How you got on it. Did you love doing it? Are you now totally famous?

Danetha Doe 4:56
I don't know about totally famous. I'm not sure what the word is for that manifestation. But I like to say I got next, when I see someone else that's created something that I'm like, oh, that would be really exciting for me to experience too. I always like to say I got next. Um, so yes, this TV show Going From Broke is the name of the series. It was, it is a 10 episode reality show focused on millennials and money. So I was brought on as one of the two co-hosts. And my role was as the financial expert, my co-host, owns a large public technology company. So he was there with that perspective. And I came in as the millennial who understands what we've gone through financially, and then also to provide some guidance and insights around how to create financial freedom as a millennial. And the the experience was, it was great in so many ways, I grew a lot. And I also, the teachings that I've learned along my own journey of creating financial freedom were further solidified. How it came about was really magical. I, a friends on Twitter, who I've actually never met in person sent me a message and said, hey, there's this casting going on in LA, it's about millennials and money, I think you would be perfect for it. And, and I saw the and I read through the application, they wanted a demo reel, which I have not done TV before. So I didn't even know what that was, but I definitely didn't have it. They wanted me to be based in LA, I'm in San Francisco, there were all these things on there where I was like, I'm not really the best fit for this. But the one sentence that they included was we are looking for a millennial who can speak to financial topics, and also understands the nuances of the emotional side of money was something along those lines. And I was like, wait, that's something I get, like, I know that it's not just black and white numbers on a page. It's about truly understanding the person where they're coming from. And so I sent in, I sent an email with my website and a brief bio, and the casting agent called me within 30 minutes of sending that email and was like, I want to hop on a video interview with you. And I absolutely love your package. There are other people to be fully transparent. There are other people that I also love too, so I want to get the ball rolling. And, and I'm really grateful to that casting director because he during my video interview with him coached me on how to be prepared for these types of interviews depending upon who I was speaking with. So there's a difference between speaking to a TV producer versus a casting agent versus anyone else in the business. So after about six interviews, that included flying to LA meeting with the producers. I was casted as the financial expert for the show.

Emily Thompson 8:06
That does sound magical, and like so much fun. And I love that you say that. What it did for your expertise is just solidify the things that you'd been working on in your own business. Can you speak to that a little bit more? Like what are some of those things that came up for you, when working through whatever these scenarios are. And maybe you can even like share a little bit about what the reality TV layout was for this. But really what it was in your work that was solidified by doing this?

Danetha Doe 8:38
Totally. So I lived in LA to film this show. I lived there for about three months. And over that course of that time, we worked with 10 different individuals, there's 10 shows, 10 episodes, and each episode features an individual or we actually had a couple too on the show. And each episode focused on one particular topic within finance. I mean, overall, everyone has student loans. Most people have student loans at 80% of them. So that was the overarching discussion. But there are other scenarios to like the one with the couple. They, the it was a heterosexual couple. So the husband had recently lost his job. He was hit by a car. He's a firefighter, and so he was out of work. At the same time, his wife who's a therapist and lost her job, they have two little kids and so they were already living somewhat paycheck to paycheck already and then we can imagine now they're in a real dire situation. And so we talked about how they could A, figure out how to make money on the side figure out other ways of generating income. They also had a lot of credit cards, which they had started using prior to this financial catastrophe so they were on already trending. They were already utilizing credit cards and and not paying them off and come to find out the husband thought they only had four credit cards. And the wife showed him that they had 12.

Emily Thompson 10:14
Oh, my god.

Danetha Doe 10:15
Yes. So this was all on camera where he realized, Oh, no, we actually are in a much worse financial situation than I was, I even knew. And so for me in that situation, the conventional wisdom is to focus on the credit cards, just to talk about, okay, how do we create a plan where we stop using credit cards, maybe cut them up, and then pay them down. However, from my own personal experience in the work that I do, there's some, there's another layer to that there is a disconnection between the husband and the wife, and we need to address not why she opened up new credit cards, we'll get there. But we have to actually talk about why she didn't feel safe to bring this up in the marriage to you. And so those kinds of conversation, that type of conversation opened up a whole other conversation within that couple where we could start to peel back the layers of Okay, we're gonna get through this, yes, you're both gonna get employed again, we're going to get to a place where you can pay off the debt, but we want to make sure you're building a solid foundation in order to do that.

Danetha Doe 11:28
So it was those types of conversations that solidified for me, the emotional and the psychological side of money is paramount in these types of situations, situations. We can't just deal with the surface level financial conversation, we have to talk about the underlying root cause of what's happening. And now, I do want to share also with the student loan situation, since that was something that was present in 8 of the 10 guests we had on the show, the conventional wisdom was to tell them that they, the conventional wisdom was to create a plan, and I'm laughing because it's absolutely ridiculous, create a plan where they pay off their student loans as quickly as possible. So what does that mean? That means that they somehow figure out how to make more money, or, in most cases, cut out everything that they love in life, in order to be able to make more payments. And that does not address the root cause of why we are in a student loan crisis situation. And once that information was shared with the individuals, it gave them, the strength and the knowledge that hey, this isn't my fault. The $600, $700, $800 per month bill wasn't my doing, it's not because I'm bad at money, actually, I'm really good at money. And when you have that mindset, where you believe in yourself, then you're able to make a positive, take positive steps towards creating financial freedom. If you feel like you're the problem, which a lot of conventional wisdom will try to say that particularly when it comes to student loans. You're just damaging the person's self esteem, and they aren't able to move forward from that place. So those two things really solidified some of the things that I, I've known to be true, but now I was able to see it reflected back.

Emily Thompson 13:34
Right, those money stories are the things that affect how it is that you I guess behave with money, those things run deep, like real deep. And so I love that you were given this opportunity to to work through these situations with what it sounds like multiple different kinds of people who you know, millennials, so like in a similar generation with similar sort of experiences, but different enough that everyone had different experiences. But the sounds like most of the same underlying money story issues.

Danetha Doe 14:12
Money story issues? Yes, definitely understanding our emotional relationship to money is that's everyone has some everyone has a relationship with money. It's whether or not it's working for you or against you, and it can ebb and flow. Sometimes my relationship with money is working for me. And sometimes I had to put myself back in check and realize, Oh, I'm acting out of a wounded place when I'm engaging with money. And it's the money stories, it's also with knowing that we're in a different economy now, in terms of we can't just rely on one source of income. And we have to develop the skills and the mindset and learn and be able to create wealth. It's not about cutting back expenses. No, this is about learning how to create wealth. And so those, unfortunately, that particular skill of mindset isn't taught in our traditional school setting in most schools. So we've had some go to other resources, like Being Boss and other resources to figure out how to make that happen for ourselves, right?

Emily Thompson 15:25
If only we were taught these sort of money relationship, things in school, like when they're teaching us how to like write a check, like, also, here's some feelings you should be practicing while you're writing these checks. I think we'd all find yourselves a different place. I want to go back to this thing that you just said about feeling wounded around money, because I think we are probably all finding ourselves in a time where our money, our energies around money, our money mindset is shifting, our money stories are shifting. So I'd love to talk a little bit about how sort of the shifts in economy, and literally everything in the world right now are affecting how you feel about money. And if there are any larger shifts that you're seeing beyond yourself as well.

Danetha Doe 16:12
Oh, wow, that's a big question. I'll start with saying that. No one could have known what we're going to experience in 2020. Some of us felt a big shift happening, but none of us could see what exactly that was. Um, for me, I would say 2019, especially prepared me for this year, in that, I started working with my shadow side, a lot of it to do with money. But also, I mean, money for me is a reflection of life. So it has to do with my life, really, and, and my shadow side that I was working through, reveals to me all of the microaggressions, I had experienced as a black woman specifically, I had not looked at that. And that was incredibly painful to realize how damaged I had been from certain experiences. And I started working with an energy healer and actually had an epigenetic episode where I exctreted physically exctreted the trauma related to that, to my experience as a black person, a black woman, and for those that may not be familiar with that term, because I didn't even know what it was until after it happened. Epigenetics is a study of intergenerational trauma. And so scientists have, scientists have worked with mice, to see that trauma is actually passed down from the parents, to the children and to the grandchildren. And you can look up the study that they've done. It's the mice and cherry blossoms study where where the smell of cherry blossoms created a trauma like experience for the parents, and then it continued down the line. Um, and so that's the same for humans, we all carry trauma within us. And the, it's, you know, it's one thing to work through the trauma, but we even have to know that we've been traumatized. We have to even know that we've been wounded.

Danetha Doe 18:35
And so for me, that 2019, that was my period, it was about a nine month period of me working with and through this. And so to answer your question about how that changed me, because I believe 2020, I believe my experience is not in solitude, I believe others will have a similar experience, especially now with what we're all experiencing in 2020. For me, 2019 showed me that I have to get back to the roots of having joy and love and creating from a place of passion. I had through 2019 I realized I am a writer, like period. That that is it. Like Yes, I could do all these other things. I can be called a financial expert. We all wear lots of hats. And I have to believe in my innate gifts of writing to be able to provide for me financially, I had turned my back to that identity. And I had to get back to that place of Yeah, I've been writing since I was six. Like this is where I find the most joy. This is where I connect with my higher self. That's how I get messages is through writing it out. And so that has to be at the forefront of my life and so from an economic standpoint, my business completely shifted to that being the focus. financial coaching is great business coaching is great. All these things that I do, TV shows are great. At the core, my way of expressing my soul is through writing. And so I believe going through 2020, my hope, actually, it's my hope. And I honestly don't believe that it cannot not happen. Because we're all waking up to this, I do believe more and more people are going to wake up to, they have got to get in touch with their soul, whatever word they want to use. Soul, spirit, consciousness, we've got to get back to the roots of what that is, and express ourselves through that and trust, when we're just talking about money, trust that we will be financially compensated from our innate gifts. And, and for me, and for from my perspective, I believe that's what 2020 from how the economy will shift, it will reflect that that very idea.

Emily Thompson 21:06
Hmm, I feel this, I feel this a lot. One of the things that I keep thinking about too, is this idea where all of the extras are currently being stripped away. Like all of the extra sort of jobs that you're doing, or hobbies that you have, or like anything that you can't just, I always, I have a 12 year old daughter. So I always think about like, she's constantly coming to me asking me to allow her to do something else like, and I'm always saying to her, you have so many things within your own capacity to do and enjoy and be happy with and be fulfilled. And like you don't need to go somewhere else, do something else, talk to someone else, have anything else. Like sometimes I just need you to practice being happy with the things that you have. And I kind of feel like we're all getting mom-ed as 12 year old kids at the moment saying, No, you're I'm gonna put you in your house and lock the door, and you're gonna be happy.

Danetha Doe 22:07
Oh my gosh, yes.

Emily Thompson 22:10
Right. So we're all having to find like, okay, no, we've created these homes for ourselves, you either did or didn't create these homes for yourself. And you've either filled them with things that bring you joy, or you haven't, and you've either cultivated hobbies or knowledge or experiences that are making you happy, or you haven't. And so we're all being sort of put in these places to look at the lives that we've built for ourselves, as well as finding out how good we can be with, you know, finding out what kind of makes us happy when we have limited resources. So I think you're right, I think all of that stripping away, forces us to sort of look ourselves in the face and say, you know, I have a limited number of things I can do right now. But I do have things that I can do right now. So what do I want to do? That's gonna make me happy when I have no other options? ,

Danetha Doe 22:58
Oh my gosh, always coming with the truth, Emily, like the realness. We are all getting mom-ed, yes. Go to your room. You're gonna look at that blank wall, or you're gonna figure out how that's gonna make you happy.

Emily Thompson 23:13
Right? You have a closet full of art supplies in there. So like figure it out.

Danetha Doe 23:17
Yes, that is what's happening here. I Yes, all the yeses.

Emily Thompson 23:23
Right. And I also see this really interesting place. And maybe you can speak to this. Or maybe it's just we can reflect off each other for a second, where I do see a very stark difference between people who are, who could not be more put out and annoyed and angry at the situation and people who were really just finding that, like, I'm gonna make the best of this. Like, there doesn't seem to be much of a middle ground. It's like you're either so angry, or you're like, doing it.

Danetha Doe 23:48
Yes, I'm so with you on that. It's anger, it's entitlements as well too like, Oh my gosh, going to just the grocery store. Sometimes it's interesting to see people that Hello, we're in the middle of a global pandemic. I mean, no one has ever said those words before. And so can you please like put down the bananas? Like you don't need all the bananas? Um, and then there are those that Yeah, they found peace. They they're finding joy they're finding. Yeah, there is definitely a clear distinction between the two. And you're right, I feel you're right too that there isn't going to be, there isn't a middle and I think going forward, those of us that have done the inner work to get to that place of being able to find joy, peace during this time. We're not going to be complacent anymore. Like we are, and I hold myself accountable to this too, because someone who I feel like I have an endless well of compassion for people and I will you know, even if someone is speaking something that I know not to necessarily true or resonate with me, I'll let it go just because, well, we all have opinions. We all have thoughts. We all have ideas. No, if not anymore. You don't know. There's going to be conviction. Now, when I speak when I connect with someone, if it doesn't immediately resonate, I'm gonna speak it. And I feel that I'm not alone in that I think those of us that have done all of that work to get to this place, where we realize, hey, the normal that we used to have is actually really unhealthy. And I'm going to speak up now.

Emily Thompson 25:40
Right, we can shape our own reality now, much more so than we could before but only for those who show us who show up and actually take that power into our hands and use it.

Emily Thompson 25:52
Yes, do the work. Be boss.

Emily Thompson 25:54
Yeah. Amen.

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Emily Thompson 27:00
I want to go to this this guy at the grocery store buying all the bananas. If we may for a second, because I think this is a time of rampant scarcity mindset. Rampant and you know, toilet paper is still an issue. Very big issue. I'm running low. I have a little bit of scarcity mindset at the moment about toilet paper, but like it's not mindset, it's reality. I want to talk about scarcity mindset, because I know that's one of the topics that you enjoy speaking about. And I feel like it's something that everyone at the moment can relate to, on some level. What is scarcity mindset? And how do you identify when it is creeping into your life? And why do you not want it there?

Danetha Doe 27:42
Yes. So scarcity mindset is this fundamental belief that there is not enough to go around. We're seeing this with toilet paper. We're seeing this with bananas. I like oat milk, and people are, that's flying off the shelves for some reason. Those are funny examples. I'm using air quotes, but funny examples, but they truly reflect a deeper disease. I believe scarcity mindset is an illness. And it's a rampant disease, especially in the financial space, which is why we are experiencing an incredibly devastating financial fallout from this. We experienced something similar in 2008. 2008 is going to pale in comparison to the harm that's going to happen from this. I mean, the state of Ohio said that there was reported that there were 40,000 Unemployment Claims, Monday and Tuesday, that's compared to 1,800, the week before. So...

Emily Thompson 28:44
Oh my goodness.

Danetha Doe 28:45
this is going to be unprecedented. And it's going to ripple through the economy. None of us are going to be immune to this in terms of none of us can turn our back to this. Now, those of us that practice having an abundant mindset where we know that there is more than enough to go around, our creativity, just as there's an unlimited amount of creativity, an unlimited amount of love, there is unlimited money, because we all have the capacity to create wealth and how the situation is going to trigger, understandably trigger our feelings of scarcity mindset, even for those of us that have been doing the work around this. And imagine how it's going to be incredibly triggering for those that have not done the work around this. So how does it creep up. It's always creeps up in these ways, but especially during this period. We have to be incredibly tuned into how we charge, you cannot undercharge. We cannot barter like that's the only way to get services. We have got to be okay with charging for services and being willing of course to work with people. But coming from that place of always bartering, we cannot continue to do that. We also cannot ask other people to slash their prices. Just as we want to be treated, we have to treat others. And we have to come from a place of believing that there's more than enough to go around. This also, that's the individual entrepreneur boss to boss interaction. The scarcity mindset also shows up and how we've been apathetic to public policies and economic policies that created widespread injustice, we can no longer just spread love and light, peaceful, happy thoughts. No people need money in their bank accounts.

Danetha Doe 30:46
And so when we do that, though, when we just think that love and light if someone just thinks positively is going to change their situation, we neglect to see that there are actually systems and structures put in place where it doesn't matter. Honestly, what someone's mindset is, they are not able to make money to support themselves, minimum, and they certainly can't thrive. And so we have to be more engaged politically, we have to understand how our local city's economic policies work, I'll share a perfect example. Because sometimes I'll get to a place of like, of course, everyone gets this, of course, everyone's going to come from a place of abundance and share. And then universe will quickly show me an example of where that's not true. And so two days ago, I'm scrolling through my Instagram, and I come across a video of a city in I think it's Lake County don't quote me on the county, but in Florida, where there's a hearing, so the mayor's holding a hearing about what they're going to do about utility payments for the county, because, for the city is it was the mayor, so the city, what they're gonna do about utility payments, because they are a lot of people are filing unemployment claims, they aren't sure when they're going to get their next paycheck. And their public utilities company, shut off power to individuals in the midst of this global pandemic, just this week, just this week, and the mayor refused to see why that was a problem. The commissioner was trying to explain to her that we are asking people to give their last check to us, in the middle of a global pandemic, and she could not hear it, she could not see why that was a problem. And so we each have to be incredibly diligent in our local political environment, because those types of things cannot happen.

Emily Thompson 33:00
Agreed, I feel like this global situation is going to continue to bring out the best and worst in any and all individuals and systems. And I agree that it's going to be those of us who are watching and listening and who care enough to be watching and listening to hold people accountable to showing up and taking care of each other regardless of so many situations. And I think that is such a good example of that. I want to bring this back to individual bosses and really helping, helping us all deal with our own scarcity mindsets. As we are navigating the next couple of weeks and months as we fill our businesses beginning to shrink. And you talked about, you talked about getting people to charge what they're worth. But I would also love to hear you speak on the flip side of that, which is feeling comfortable paying people for things. So I think we're all struggling right now with the idea of like, you know, do I really need to buy that book from Amazon because maybe I don't really need to read that book right now. Or you know, hiring someone to help you with something in your business or investing in something in your business that you need to be moving forward. Because I will sort of add this thing to is that one day this will end and you're gonna want your business to be better for it. Not still sitting there struggling because of it.

Danetha Doe 34:30
Absolutely. Absolutely. Oh, you ask the best questions. And you have such incredible insight. Yes. Paying for services is going to be a reflection of your mindset. Being comfortable with sharing your resources because that is what money is. It is a resource and it's about sharing and allowing it to flow. I love to picture the economy as water. Water is meant to nourish all of us. And it only nourishes all of us when it's flowing, imagine stagnant water, that's toxic, nasty things breed in that. We want to continue to let the water flow over the rocks, we're now hitting a bunch of rocks, we want it to flow and continue to cleanse all of us. And I'll share a personal example, we lost a client, we were one of the people that they decided to cut. And I completely, you know, I completely understand those decisions. In terms of managing resources. What I did in response was turn around and hire somebody. Because this period, how we are in this period is going to reap a hundredfold. And that reaping is either going to come from an abundant place, or very, very, very scarce place.

Emily Thompson 36:01
Yes, I'm sorry, I was just making the scariest face probably. I didn't mean to stop you dead in your tracks there.

Danetha Doe 36:11
Weel the face was correct. Because imagine hundredfold, like we all want to think about reaping from a beautiful, lush place. Imagine reaping from a dry, arid, cracked place, that is what is going to be the result. And it all depends on who you are in this period. That doesn't mean you have to turn around and hire somebody. I mean, that is, everyone has to look at their own finances, analyze their own risk tolerance as well. But it could mean buying gift certificates from your local restaurant, it could mean maybe you do buy that $9.99 book from Amazon, it doesn't have to be a huge amount of money. Because that's all relative, it's about the intention behind the action. And so yes, being willing to spend mindfully, intentionally and with purpose, I do believe we're in a karma economy. I've always felt that. But I believe part of the drastic shifts, like we are done being in, at least in the United States, a capitalist society. That, those structures are gone, they are completely broken down just as an individual who like for me, I was completely broken down, physically put on my knees, we as an economic society, our structures are not there anymore. They're not there, Delta Airlines is cutting 70% of their flights. I mean the tax deadline was actually pushed back three months that our systems are, we're always a creation. And we can create something different, but it's going to start from a boss to boss perspective, it's going to start from you making decisions from a place of abundance, or a place of scarcity. There's no in between, just like we were talking about earlier, there's no in between anymore.

Emily Thompson 38:15
Hmm, I'm feeling this too. And he will say do one of the things that I've always loved about doing online business. And the thing that I've always seen with, you know, watching, watching people build online communities is what a lot of them end up doing, especially in these small business communities is we're actually building small economies, we're building these little bubble economies that you know, we're all hiring each other, we're all paying each other's bills like we keep, we have the ability to create these bubbles and keep the water flowing within them. And but that only continues if we all continue flowing our water in and out. And inside that bubble like we don't have to be as affected by what's happening literally everywhere else in the world. We weren't being hugely oh, I guess we were being hugely affected by it before. But now we can be even more intentional within these small little bubble economies that we've created. I've never seen a need to use them until now. But now that now that we're in a place where we need them, I'm glad that we have them like the Being Boss Community is a perfect example of this. Where I've seen it for years. I've watched it. I've talked to people about it. One of the things I love most about the community that we've built, is we've actually built an economy. This tiny, little economy. I think if we can keep the money flowing within this, we'll all be fine. And we'll all come out of it significantly better, but not if we stop. Not if we stop our economy.

Danetha Doe 39:41
Yes, I love that. We do have the power to create our own economy that's at the core of what you're saying you we do have the ability to continue to thrive, to continue to live a full life which does take financial resources and we are able to to continue to keep that water flowing, and and it's the Being Boss Community, it's Money and Mimosas community.all of these communities. And then we do spill out, may our cup runneth over, we are going to spill out into the wild wild world out there, that is going to wake up to how beautiful our worlds is. And we're able to positively effect be a part of the positive effects as well.

Emily Thompson 40:27
Right? Let's definitely spill out out rather some Money and Mimosass and Being Boss spilled all over the world than anything else personally.

Danetha Doe 40:38
Same, same.

Emily Thompson 40:43
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Emily Thompson 42:10
All right, I want to get really tactical now, if we may, I would love for you to share a couple of steps that our bosses need to be taking right now in order to create some financial security or I think as you call it as financial foundation for themselves and their family and in this crazy time, but also maybe just in general.

Danetha Doe 42:34
Totally, great question. And I love this question. Because these are steps that we need to take all the time. It's like I one of the takeaways from me during this pandemic is how important getting back to the basics is and maintaining the basics. Washing our hands is a basic thing. But that is what's going to save us, part of what's going to save us I should say. So when it comes to financial, setting a solid financial foundation, this is important now more than ever, and this is something hopefully we all continue to maintain because it's just like building your own financial immune system. So the first step, we've got to start with the emotional psychological consciousness side of it, whichever word best resonates. But you have to understand your money story. And I do believe it is a lifelong process. But particularly during this period, we want to tune into the shadow side. So these are feelings of shame and guilt. We cannot extract race from the from economics. So each of us has to look at our experience through that lens. Most of the listeners are going to be in the United States. So we also have to look through the lens of how we've harmed the global economy as Americans, that's gonna be uncomfortable stuff. Like if you feel comfortable doing this work, you're not doing it right. You're not. And so the shadow side of the money story, we all have to look at, some resources for people you can look to Layla Saad, I shouldn't call her resource. Some teachers, you should look to Layla Saad. She's the host of the Good Ancestor podcast. There's also Rachel Cargle, who does work around around this type of stuff in terms of privilege and unpacking that what that looks like. If you, you know, Netflix, Privilege documentary, like those types of things, we all have to start looking at ourselves. And then the second step, so that's the the consciousness side. And the second step then is get into the practice of learning how to brainstorming ways to make money, this needs to be done every single day, even if you don't take action on these ideas. Get your mind, prepare your mind for being able to see an opportunity and to create from that place of opportunity. So every day, brainstorm two to three ideas that you can create wealth. And then the last step is get all of your finances in one place. This could be a bookkeeping program, it could be Excel, whatever you like to use, make sure everything is in one place.

Emily Thompson 45:29
What are some of your favorite tools?

Danetha Doe 45:31
For the bookkeeping? I personally.

Emily Thompson 45:34
For your finances all in one place, whatever that means for you.

Danetha Doe 45:38
Sure. So keeping my finances all in one place looks like I get a daily alert from my bank account with every time I spend more than $20. Because I want to be in touch with my money. It also helps you know, if there's a fraudulent charge like that, it's helpful to see that immediately as well. I use Xero, Xero for my accounting, I'm a huge fan of FreshBooks as well. It's not about the tool necessarily, it's about using it. So find one that you enjoy working with. I also use Excel as well, just because I like to export my information out and like play around with like, where could I be in June of 2021 financially. But those those simple tools, if you're a pen and paper person, that's fine, too. I do, during my money date, write down how much I transferred to my savings, or I write down how much we made that week because I love the pen to paper feeling. But those are yeah, all any any of those tools, or any one tool will do the trick.

Emily Thompson 46:44
All right, you just mentioned money date. Tell me a little bit about that.

Danetha Doe 46:48
So money dates, this is something that I mean, I've, I consider it a ritual. It's something fun. I do believe more than ever having a ritual around our money. And infusing intention and purpose when we engage with it is, has always been critical, especially now, it's going to be massively critical to get us all to a place where we can experience peace and prosperity. So money dates is my my time. It's every Friday where I sit down, and first I go through my income. So what I brought in that week, then I go through where I spent my money and how I felt. How do I feel about those expenses? Is it a reflection of, of where I want to be spending my money. I'll give you an example. So I don't have a car and I bike everywhere or I take public transit, or I take Lyft. And there was one month where I spent over $500 on Lyfts. And my immediate reaction was like, Oh my gosh, you know, you spent way too much money like, reel it in what are you doing. And then the next voice said, sit and look through each Lyft expense. And recall why you use Lyft. And I realized each time I used it was A, for business, which on one level is a tax deduction. But on a deeper level, it was my, my spending was a reflection of the investment in something that I truly care about. And taking Lyfts allowed me to wear a dress as opposed to biking, I couldn't wear a dress, it gave me the space to be able to get ready and arrive at wherever I was arriving in a fully collected somewhat pampered state because Lyft is like having your own personal driver. And so once I realized that I realized, Oh no, you're not spending too much on Lyft you actually need to increase your budget for your transportation more and then you need to figure out how to create more wealth. So you don't get that immediate reaction of Ooh, goodness, I spent too much. So as you go through your expenses, reflect on how you feel. And if it's something that gives you pause, dig a little deeper as to why it's giving you pause and perhaps it does mean you cut back on, in that area or it might mean you need to create more wealth in order to sustain it. And then there's some other steps I do one is pay myself first, transfer money to my savings or investing and then the last step is always celebrating. So I celebrate with a mimosa and I celebrate any win anyone from the week some wins some weeks. It was just I literally got through the week or I got to take a walk on a Thursday afternoon. So take that time to celebrate it.

Emily Thompson 49:46
Nice. So you do your money dates on Friday. Is there any specific reason why you choose that or do you have any recommendations for how to make your money date really impactful for yourself?

Danetha Doe 50:00
Whoo, I love this. So I choose Friday because Friday always seems fun. It's the same day that my fiance and I have date night like Friday just seems like a fun day. But you can choose any day that works for you, Friday seems like a great way to close the week. Ways to make it more impactful. One thing that I've been doing recently with my money day is including my fiance in it. So I do recommend, like, this is your time with your money, get your feet up under you and like check in with yourself all those things. And then if you are in a partnership or relationship, where there's money being exchanged between the two of you like money is a part of the relationship. For me what's created, more impact was allowing Nick to be a part of my day. And for me why that was because I can get into ambitious mode, that's my default mode, I can be a warrior woman. And part of my lesson from 2019 was realizing I need to learn how to receive and surrender and allow myself to be taken care of. And so allowing Nick to be a part of my money date help me feel more comfortable with sharing more of my anything that I was going through, any challenges, and allowing him to be able to take care of me in ways that I didn't realize was available to me.

Emily Thompson 51:33
Whoo, sounds like a real good money date. Real good one. I like it. I like it. Perfect. Thank you so much for sharing all of that. I love that you do that. And I will say too there's a stark difference between, you know, one of the things that I was doing very early in my business was my own bookkeeping, and so many, so many new bosses do and I did it for a couple of years. And I also had a routine where every Friday morning, I would sit down and I would do my bookkeeping for the week. But it wasn't fun. Like it was not any fancy money date, it was a slog to like sit down and spend my morning fighting with QuickBooks or whatever it was that I was using back then before I knew any better. And really before there was really any good choice of tools to use. But it was different. It was not a pleasurable money date. But what you're saying is that you can do this with just like a shift of mindset. And the idea of turning it from this thing on your to do list that you have to do every week into a ritual where you're getting in touch with your own money stories, and you are thinking about wealth instead of expenses. I mean, you're thinking about both in both cases, but it is a mindset shift. It's as simple as a mindset shift that can make managing your money and staying in touch with your money, significantly more joyful than what most creatives especially probably experience.

Danetha Doe 53:01
I'm glad you brought that up. Because how you feel during this money date is something to pay attention to. So if it feels like a slog, brainstorm ways where it doesn't feel like a slog. And that could be a far jump. So take it one step at a time, maybe it's I've got my crystal here, maybe it's adding an amethyst crystal. So this crystal makes me think of beauty. It could be lighting a candle, so it may still feel like a slog. But that little addition brings a sense of peace or beauty or love to the situation. It could be dancing before doing it. Just putting on some fun music and getting into a party mood. If you are in a place in your business where you are able to outsource your bookkeeping, that's beautiful too. Get to that place where you can hire someone else to maintain it and and stay in touch with your money. The last thing you want to do is turn, become apathetic in terms of expecting someone else to take care of it. So ask your bookkeeper for a weekly update. And that could be, maybe it's two numbers that he or she sends you and then and then you look at your own personal finances you transfer your money from one account to another whatever that would look like from you know your savings and investing perspective but yes, make it, focus on the fun. For sure.

Emily Thompson 54:28
Yes, absolutely. Okay, so I think money date is a really great healthy money habit for anyone to adopt for themselves. Do you have any other healthy money habits people can start practicing?

Danetha Doe 54:40
Yes, one of the other ones that I love to do is a money mantra. And so you can say these mantras throughout the day. I personally like to say it as I'm going to bed because I believe our dream state is our, is a powerful creation state. So I like to feed myself physically feed myself and mentally feed myself with positivity. So saying money mantra before you go to bed. And then another habit that I recently started doing that I'm loving is spending $10,000 every day. So just the practice, right? Like, take a pause.

Emily Thompson 55:21
Yeah.

Danetha Doe 55:22
It's not actually spending $10,000? But go through the practice of okay. Every day, I've got to spend 10 grand, what are you going to spend it on? What are you gonna, I mean, there's so many things to spend money on. And getting into that state, I do believe elevates our frequency shifts our mindset from scarcity to abundance, because we're not trying to hoard this 10 grand, we're just putting it back into the economy to allow it to flow. And that will train you to see Oh, wow, this is what 10 grand can get me I want to get to that place, then you'll go back and brainstorm ways to make money and it's just this whole flow that will be be sparked.

Emily Thompson 56:06
That is my favorite new, favorite new practice. I'm going to adopt that. I've never heard of such a thing. Thank you for sharing.

Danetha Doe 56:13
You're welcome

Emily Thompson 56:14
I'm in.

Danetha Doe 56:15
Let's do it.

Emily Thompson 56:16
I'm hiring you every day. How about that?

Danetha Doe 56:19
Let's spend 10 grand together. Right.

Emily Thompson 56:21
Yes.

Danetha Doe 56:22
Let's spend 10 grand together. Imagine what you could do. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Oh, that's good.

Emily Thompson 56:30
Awesome. Anything else?

Danetha Doe 56:31
Those I would say those. Those are the healthy habits.

Emily Thompson 56:35
Yeah, perfect. Oh, I love it. Thank you so much for sharing all that. And thank you so much for coming and sharing your money, wisdom and insights, especially at such a time I think this is sort of info is the kind of info that everyone is like, kind of hurting for like even if you didn't know that you were probably holding some anxiety and experiencing your own bit of trauma. I think everyone can recognize even very recent moments where we felt the scarcity or, you know, been afraid of what's going to happen next or have felt a shift and how it is that we think about our money. So I appreciate you coming and sharing all of this.

Danetha Doe 57:14
You're so welcome Emily and thank you for the opportunity to share.

Emily Thompson 57:20
Awesome I have two last questions for you. If we may.

Danetha Doe 57:23
Sure.

Emily Thompson 57:24
First and foremost is what is making you feel most boss these days.

Danetha Doe 57:29
Hmmm. I am feeling most boss when I'm writing. I get, I have so many downloads. I never know what exactly is going to come out of the pen and I feel so boss when I'm writing.

Emily Thompson 57:48
I love that writing doesn't take anything more than a pencil and a paper and some brain space to let things come through. Hmm, I love that. Okay, and last but not least, where can people find out more about you?

Danetha Doe 58:05
You can find me over at moneyandmimosas.com. All my social media handles are there every day I post the Money mantra on Instagram. So if that's something you're into, you can check that out. And then yeah, all of our content on Money and Mimosas is all about financial financial freedom.

Emily Thompson 58:24
Wonderful. Thank you so much.

Danetha Doe 58:26
Thank you.

Emily Thompson 58:31
Thanks for listening. And hey, if you want more resources, we're talking worksheets, free trainings in person meetups and vacations and more. Go to our website at www.beingboss.club.

Kathleen Shannon 58:44
Do the work. Be boss.