What’s in Your Orbit?

August 10, 2018

When you’re taking control of your work and living life on your terms, it’s important to pay attention to who and what you’re putting in your orbit of influence. In today’s minisode, we’re going over an exercise from the Being Boss book all about what your consciously place in your sphere of influence so that you can cultivate more of what you want in your work and life.

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"If your orbit is not currently working for you, sometimes a hard reset can be a very important part of nurturing the things you value most."
- Emily Thompson

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Transcript

Kathleen Shannon 0:04
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Caitlin Brehm 0:49
Let's talk about the what's in your orbit exercise from the being boss book. So bosses, if you didn't listen to a couple minisodes back the value Episode minisode, where we talk about values, hit pause, listen to that one first, because this one is going to build on it. So in the being boss book on page 70, and 71, we have an exercise called what's in your orbit, that's all about surrounding yourself with the things that are going to help you be more boss. So how does that work?

Kathleen Shannon 1:23
Yeah, so I'm a pretty strong believer in the law of attraction. And I don't entirely know how it works, whether it's on a karmic level, or like, you know, making practical choices and seeing how your thoughts manifest in the world. But I do think that there is a certain amount of accountability and responsibility that comes to choosing what you value and surrounding yourself with things that express or reflect those values. So I think what I want to do is just read this little tidbit from the actual exercise, would that be okay?

Emily Thompson 1:59
Go for it.

Kathleen Shannon 2:01
Okay, so here's what we say in the book. I feel like I'm recording the audio book all over again, what's in your orbit, it's all too easy to blame a negative attitude on circumstances or the people around you, but you're responsible for what's in your life, playing the victim is not boss. Alternatively, pulling positive influences toward you and choosing positive thoughts will inevitably bring you positive experiences. This worksheet is designed to help you become accountable for whom and what you surround yourself with good or bad, it will help you see how your thoughts and choices manifest themselves, from your career to your relationships to your home. What do you want in your orbit. And so I want to be clear here that this is around the context of, I don't know, like who you decide to be friends with, who you decide to be in relationships with the kinds of things that you decide to fill your home with, the kinds of like healthy habits you decide to engage in, whether it's the food that you eat, or the exercise practices that you have. So whenever we're talking about this, we're talking about the things that you have conscious control over. And of course, there are people in circumstances or situations that are beyond their control. But we're talking about like the majority of people who have control and agency over their lives. So just be really clear here. Because I know that that can rile people up. We're talking about people who have agency over themselves, and really using conscious thought and intention, and values to steer what is in their lives. So I know for me personally, I can definitely get into a place where I'm like, Oh, poor me like that launch didn't go well, or why isn't this working? You know what I mean? Like, that's the kind of stuff that we are wanting to boss up around. And so for me, that really looks like okay, well, what kinds of things? Am I thinking and being accountable for my thoughts? What kinds of behaviors Am I engaging in and being accountable for those behaviors? What am I surrounding myself with? And how do those things reflect my values. So it really is as simple as that. And it's really about just being intentional. So what we want you to do is whenever you're thinking about what's in your orbit, and we have like a handy dandy little worksheet graphic in our book, and it looks like a little solar system, you're putting your values in the middle. And I really like the idea of this versus putting yourself in the middle because that can be kind of self indulgent or narcissistic. It's really about thinking about those positive values that you want to be cultivating more of, and seeing how the things in your life are either reflecting those values and making room for those values or distracting you from living and being who you want to be. So you'll want to look at your relationships with whom do you spend the most time How do they reflect your values? How do they contrast your values? What information are you getting? their career describe your job in a nutshell, the opportunities are you planning and these special projects or adventures, your spaces, so your physical spaces your home, your office, your bedroom, where you live and work, and then your hobbies What are your favorite things to do. And I think that this is one of those things in my orbit that I have not made enough space for. And that I would love to bring more like one of my top values is probably adventure. It's one that comes up a lot. And there is no space in my orbit. So I have to look at Okay, what is filling my time and what needs to go so that I can make space to go on some adventures?

Emily Thompson 5:38
Right. And I think the place where this is probably most powerful for bosses, or at least I think that we get the most questions around is what should I say yes to and what should I say no to in terms of career or business opportunities that come your way, because it can be really excited to just say yes to all of the things that come along. And though we do talk about, especially in the first year or so of business, saying yes to as much as possible to figure out what it is that you want to be doing what it is that you don't want to be doing. As you grow as a boss and in your creative business, it becomes more and more important to discern between what needs to be in your orbit and what does not need to find its way there at all. So keeping in mind those values, whenever it comes time to make decisions around the kinds of opportunities that you're being presented, it will help you very easily say yes or no to anything that comes along. So I think that's probably one of my favorite places to use this exercise as a creative entrepreneur. But I also love the idea of using it for your space. Because I especially think that as creatives being the kinds of people who soak up everything around you and are supposed to turn all of that into the work that you're doing. Making sure that your surroundings are filled with things that are inspiring, and helpful to you is often a place that is overlooked, but is really important to the whole process.

Caitlin Brehm 7:05
What I really love about this exercise is like you said, Kathleen, it's not about putting yourself in the middle, but your values in the middle. And I think that really leaves room for those unknown things that you can say yes and no to. So you just said one of your values is adventure, and that you have nothing in your orbit related to adventure. But I disagree because I think that first off starting the podcast was very adventurous. It's not literally going on climbing Mount Everest adventure, but it's adventurous. And now it's to a point where Okay, the podcast itself isn't adventurous anymore, because it's become the norm. But going on this book tour is giving you travel giving you adventure. So it's kind of looking at Okay, what is the meaning of adventure to you and how our choices adventure us. If they're not literally trips, or adventure.

Kathleen Shannon 8:01
That's a good point, I did almost run out of gas in a sketchy area of Chicago, on our most recent book doorstop and it was quite the adventure. And I remember in the moment, this is another place where like values can be reflected and how you can really use them to reframe a situation I remember thinking adventures aren't when things go right. That's called the vacation adventures or whenever things go a little off track, and might get a little scary or a little turbulent. And it's weathering that through and just seeing it through. And so you're right Katelyn link definitely I'm I'm looking for the like climbing Mount Everest adventure though. Like that's what I want space for. So I really am trying to be more intentional, though about about bringing that into my orbit by saying yes to certain opportunities that include travel and like really thinking about I only have so much time this year to travel. So what is it going to include and will that feel adventurous for example. So that's another aspect where it makes you more discerning in that decision making process. And for me, I'm also using the what's your what's in your orbit exercise whenever it comes to developing new friendships here in Detroit after moving from Oklahoma City, like it's really an opportunity to see what kind of friends I want to make and what kind of values I need in them in order to grow as an individual myself and so I'm really being purposeful about surrounding myself with other creatives who are making things and also value adventure and you know, those sorts of things like that's been really intentional and in the forefront of my mind and also you know, the space like you mentioned, Emily like I've moved into a new house so I can think it's almost like a reset of like what is in my space what is in my orbit,

Emily Thompson 9:50
right and I so love this idea of like if your orbit is not currently working for you, sometimes a hard reset can be a very important problem. of the process of really getting the kind of orbit that you need in order to nurture the things that you value most. So if anyone's looking for something crazy to do try a hard reset.

Kathleen Shannon 10:14
Yeah, I mean, that is something that we don't really talk about in the book is like, how do you knock something out of your orbit and that is not always a pleasant or easy process. Sometimes it can be sometimes it can just be letting that little planet float off, and, you know, make its way or it could be a hard reset, like doing some Marie Kondo get overhaul like spring cleaning and your house or a breakup, like we've even seen some bosses get out of toxic relationships that weren't serving their creative or you know who they are, who they want to be. So, yeah, it's not gonna be easy, but like, break up with that person that's not doing good things for your soul. Get rid of those things in your house that aren't making you feel good or inspired. Or just move across the country. see what that does.

Emily Thompson 11:06
But Alaska is great for people who want to do that. Right. So if you want to find this worksheet, you can find it in the being boss book. It's on page 70 and 71. You can learn more about the being boss book and purchase one for yourself at being boss dot club, slash book. Or feel free to just take a look at your life in general and figure out what things you want to be there and what things you may be doped.

Kathleen Shannon 11:41
This minisode was brought to you by twenty20. Check them out at twenty20.com/beingboss. That's t w e and t y 20. As in the number.com slash being boss.

Emily Thompson 11:55
Did you like this minisode Be sure to check us out on our website at beingboss.club. There you can find more from being boss including our full episodes minisodes and blog posts. And while you're there, be sure to sign up for our mailing list so that you can get access to behind the scenes and exclusive content from Kathleen and myself to help you be more boss in your work and life. Do the work be boss