Jealousy and Competition

Kathleen Shannon 0:00
Hello and welcome to being boss minisode number 20.

Kathleen Shannon 0:09
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Kathleen Shannon 1:13
Alright, right in today's minisode which first an announcement you guys, this will be our last being boss minisode True story. We just wanted to focus our efforts on our full length episodes. And we want to bring you quality, not quantity. So um, yeah, we will be no longer doing minisodes so that we can focus on the bigger episodes and bring you better content every week.

Emily Thompson 1:42
Heck yes and maybe other content too. We'll keep you posted.

Kathleen Shannon 1:47
Yeah, we're working on some stuff for you guys. All right. But for this last minisode we want to talk about jealousy, competition and copycats. There's been a lot of chatter in our Facebook being boss group about jealousy and competition in general. So Emily, and I thought that today we will talk about how we personally deal with jealousy and competition. So I'm just going to jump in and say whenever I'm feeling jealous, I make friends with whoever I'm feeling jealous of?

Emily Thompson 2:17
Oh, you would Kathleen

Kathleen Shannon 2:19
right? Like, for example, even like, um, I don't know, let me think. Or I invite them on the podcast. So, um, I would say like, the person that I'm jealous of the most and not in like, a negative way, is probably someone like Marie Forleo. Like, oh, yeah, like, whatever. She's a boss bitch, like, she should be on the show, you know, and I guess just recognizing the good in them. And rather than being jealous of them, looking at what I admire in them and trying to take on some of those qualities, and but on a smaller scale, like so people who aren't quite Marie Forleo. And there have been people that I've been jealous of before, because they're prettier, or their business seems more successful. And I can think of a few specific names. I'm just gonna throw out a name there. So my friend Promise Tangeman she does websites. And she's incredible. And she's beautiful. And I she's pretty much like perfect. I love her. But before I knew her, I was incredibly jealous of her. And I just felt like she had the biggest hair in a fabulous way like I so jealous of her hair. And she's beautiful and has this rockin business. And so I went to designer vaycay and became friends with her. So it whenever you become friends with someone, it really humanizes them and you can no longer be jealous, but instead supportive. So that's kind of how I deal with jealousy. What about you, Emily? How do you deal with jealousy?

Emily Thompson 3:51
Um, I don't know.

Kathleen Shannon 3:52
Or do you get jealous?

Emily Thompson 3:55
And I know I do. And I'm trying to think of like a specific situation. I, I'm one of those people that usually like pushes those things in the back of my mind. Okay, so Promise is probably one of mine to where, you know, she

Kathleen Shannon 4:08
I can introduce y'all.

Emily Thompson 4:09
Yeah, I would love to meet her. I think she's totally badass. And I think I think for me, it is just, it's just recognizing, recognizing that recongnzing blah, blah. For me, it's recognizing that that's where they that's where they are on their path. And that may you just may not be quite there yet. So Promise for me is one of those uses rocking website business. She does have fabulous hair. And um, and so for me, I either have to like not look at things so just like unfriend all the things which I have actually done before just like out of sight out of mind scenario, or simply admire where they are, I think. I think that probably the best person who's ever talked about this, at least to me was Danielle Krysa, The Jealous Curator In talking about how, how it is changing, probably jealousy from a negative emotion to one of admiration for a person, which is this same exact thing, it's just more positive than negative. So I love the idea of making friends. And you do do that. That's really funny to me.

Kathleen Shannon 5:23
And I think also recognizing that someone else's success does not take away from your own.

Emily Thompson 5:28
Yeah.

Kathleen Shannon 5:28
In fact, recognizing someone else's success, I feel like does nothing but set you up to be successful yourself. Yeah, because if you can see success, you can make it yours. Yep. So there's enough room for all of us to be successful. Okay. Next up competition. So, competition is a little bit different than jealousy, I think because it's a little like, how dare you do what I'm doing, and feeling like someone because they do the same thing as you that they're going to take away from you? Yeah. And so the way that I deal with competition is just kind of recognizing that, yea, there's a market. And also acknowledging that just because someone else offers what I do, and we all run in the same circles, so we're all seeing each other's content, but it doesn't mean that the whole world is doing what we do, there's plenty of room for everyone. And so for me, it's just trusting that just trusting that there's plenty room for everyone. But then also, and that's where branding comes in place, and really figuring out what makes you different, and positioning that difference, so that you can really stand out in the marketplace. How do you deal with competition.

Emily Thompson 6:41
Um, I agree with that wholeheartedly. Again, I think there are there are enough fish in the sea. And that was one for me, in the beginning of my in the beginning of my business building was really hard. For me, it is for anyone who's just starting out looking at your competition and your competition, likely being people who are farther along than you, especially if you're just starting out. It's just about like doing the work, like showing up every day doing it so that you become the competition. And in seeing it in a good way, I think making friends with your competition is just as just as important as making friends with those that you are jealous of. Because I have found in you know, in my business and doing all the things that I do is when you partner, when you can partner with competition, or at least become friends, like your knowledge base will grow your, your audience will grow. And you have much more of a platform for sharing. Whenever you are friends with your competition, then whenever you are competing with them, I think that's much more powerful than sitting back and being angry that someone else is doing what you're doing.

Kathleen Shannon 7:53
That is if your competition is someone that you would want to be friends with

Emily Thompson 7:57
True that.

Kathleen Shannon 7:58
So this brings us to our third point of copycats, because I'm not interested in being friends with straight up copycats, because I feel like it lacks integrity. And it feels a little more malicious. So there is a difference between competition and jealousy, you know, that kind of good jealousy, and then straight up copycats. So we actually had an interesting incident, where recently, one of our bosses pointed out to us another podcast that straight up just ripped us off, like 100%, from the branding to the website coding to even the content that they're podcasting about. And Emily and I were like, how do we handle this? Like, when do we get a lawyer after them cease and desist? Do we send them a nasty email? Do we send them a nice email? Like, what do we do? And we ultimately decided not to acknowledge it? Because, again, okay, so like, going back to Marie Forleo. I'm sure there are a ton of people ripping her off. Do you think she's sending an email to every person that rips her off? Probably not. So like, I was like, You know what, we're seeing this, but I think we're above it. Let's just ignore it. They'll never be us. Moving on. Right.

Emily Thompson 9:13
Right. And I also I do want to point out what we did do and by what we did be what you did. Because you did go sign up for her newsletter and just sort of really sweet like, we see what you're doing kind of way.

Kathleen Shannon 9:29
If they even notice. Yeah, I mean, I so I signed up for their newsletter because I wanted to see their launch and see exactly what they were doing. And I do feel like since I signed up for the newsletter, they change their website a little bit. The branding is still not being boss branding.

Emily Thompson 9:45
Right? We'll see. And I want to bring that up because I was actually coaching a client on this just this past week. She was saying she's in the jewelry business, and in in that business and I can speak from experience because I used to be in it too, that copycats are are everywhere like people are ripping off designs left and right. And this can be like other makers this can be like large brands I've seen, you know time and time again like whether it's West Elm or Urban Outfitters or whatever, ripping off like indie artists. So it is a legitimate problem. And one of the things I was coaching my client on in reference to, to how you dealt with, with our being boss copycat was, she was really concerned about all these other jewelry designers liking her on Instagram and how, you know, her her following was growing. But it was her competitors. And it was it was people that she was afraid would end up copying her. And and I want to point out one, like, just the general fear of a copycat is can be debilitating, like do not not put your stuff out there because you're afraid someone will copy you. Because if it's good, and I hope it will be someone will end up copying it. But in in the instance of you know, the Instagram followers, one of the things that you can do really easily if you find yourself having other, you know, people following you in the same realm, and you're afraid of copycats is to just follow them back. I think there's so much to be said about that super guy that's kind of passive aggressive, isn't it, of just saying like I see you. And it's there's nothing aggressive about it, you're just you know, simply simply letting them know that they're, they're being seen. And I think that that can be much more powerful than an angry email or getting a lawyer after them. However, I do think there is also a time when that should happen. A couple of years ago, one of the first websites I developed actually it was my website was developed. I was hanging out by Google Analytics, seeing where traffic was coming from. And I had this weird site that someone was, was coming to my site from so I went to visit it. And the developer of that site had taken my website, like completely taken my website, changed the colors, kept the coding kept the content, like the content on this site, was my content. And for that I wrote an email. I was like it was a nice email of this is against the law. You stole this. You can't put your name on it, those sorts of things. But I think I think the point here is choosing your battles wisely, in terms of copycats, and, and either like being passive aggressive if you have to. But being nice in as many cases as possible.

Kathleen Shannon 12:40
Yeah, I think like assuming the best Yeah, a lot of instances. So like, there was someone that I did email because someone else, I think three people by the time three people pointed something out to me, I'm like, Alright, maybe I should, maybe I should send an email. So I've sent an email before saying, hey, someone has pointed this out to me that our content is very similar, like verbatim. So I'm sure that this is just an accident or coincidence. But how can we work this out? So it's kind of like the pre cease and desist? And it's kind of just assuming that maybe this was an accident? Um,

Emily Thompson 13:17
oh, yeah.

Kathleen Shannon 13:18
But yeah,

Emily Thompson 13:19
yeah, definitely go into it nice the first time. And if they give you a reason to not be nice the second time, then do what you have to do. But it is it is definitely choosing your battles. I mean, there are some cases in which let them try, let them try, whatever

Kathleen Shannon 13:35
it is, and then you just keep on evolving. So like, I find that even in my own business of branding and business visioning. I've now I'm now seeing a lot of other creative entrepreneurs launching businesses that are doing branding and business visioning those words verbatim. And it just means that I have to evolve what I'm doing. And I keep trying to level up my own game, and not just stay where I'm at. So that

Emily Thompson 14:01
well, I can stand out. I think another side of that, too, is is understanding that they have to have a beginning place to evolve as well. Not that it not that it totally makes it okay for people to be copycats. But sometimes people need a starting place. And if they are low impact, and it's not going to affect your business, let them start out with you. And maybe even be a little I don't know. pat yourself on the back in terms of like you being Yeah, but it's tricky.

Kathleen Shannon 14:35
It's tricky. whenever it's like, well, you should be flattered because I don't necessarily think that's the case. But anyway, I don't have all the answers to copycat that it happens and it's not a big deal. But whenever it comes to jealousy and competition, make friends recognize the market support each other because there's enough room for everyone or put your blinders on and choose your battles, too. Keep going, just keep doing your thing. Don't let it stop you. Keep going do the work.

Emily Thompson 15:05
Yes, because all the best people get copied at some point.

Kathleen Shannon 15:11
All right, you guys, thank you for giving us a little bit of your time today. Feel free to continue the discussion on our Facebook group. And if you haven't already, please be sure to check out all of our full episodes on lovebeingboss.com, and you all have been leaving us amazing reviews on iTunes and it really does make a difference. So thank you for that. Do the work be boss and we'll see you next week.