Do you have to be obsessed with your business in order to make it do? There’s such a hustle/obsession culture in the startup world that seeps its way in the mindset of creative entrepreneurs, so in today’s minisode, we’re talking about separating obsession from a healthy, enthusiastic work ethic.
Emily Thompson 0:00
The Being Boss book is officially available for preorder.
Kathleen Shannon 0:04
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Emily Thompson 0:07
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Emily Thompson 0:17
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Kathleen Shannon 1:05
Are you guys ready for this?
Emily Thompson 1:07
So ready?
Emily Thompson 1:09
Hey, before we jump in, I want to reintroduce our audience to Caitlin I recently got a question. It was like who's her third co host? So Caitlin, could you introduce yourself?
Caitlin Brehm 1:20
Yeah. Hi, guys. I'm Caitlin I work behind the scenes that being boss with like editorial content and general boss-ness.
Emily Thompson 1:31
We love bringing Caitlin in on these minisodes because she lends us a perspective, like sometimes Emily and I are over here grinding away and doing the work and and we can get in our little bubble or little boss bubble. And Caitlin I think has more perspective in just everything else that's going on in the world. I don't know, I feel like you're very worldly. But like you're still on social media. And I don't know, I just feel like we like having your third perspective in the loop. So thank you so much for joining us on these minisodes. What are we talking about today?
Caitlin Brehm 2:08
Well, we're talking about obsession. And the idea of, you know, obviously, if you have a business, you have to be into what you do. But do you have to be obsessed with it to make it really do.
Emily Thompson 2:21
Oh, I'm so excited to talk about this because I was actually so I just moved to Detroit. And I just watched a documentary on startups in Detroit. And startup culture is very much in this like line of you're working 24 seven, you're not sleeping workaholic, you're going into debt, you're doing everything it takes to get your business off the ground. And it might not succeed. Like I feel like this is just kind of the general startup feeling and culture. And it kind of made me think about, well, one, it made me feel guilty that I'm not working 24 seven, and then I was like, why should I feel guilty about that, like we've set up our lives in and like what we're preaching on being bosses, being able to have boundaries, and a life and a life hustle just as much as your work and your work hustles. So that was like, my general thoughts there. But then also, I know that I've fallen into the idea that you have no one to blame but yourself if your business fails. And then you could say if it doesn't work, well, I didn't work hard enough, whether that's hours, or even just energy. So the idea of obsession, like the amount of energy that you're like driving into your business, and I know that I felt that before, like if I could just muscle my way to success by like, I don't know, like squeezing my whole body real tight.
Emily Thompson 3:49
That'll work that'll do it, Kathleen, thanks for being Boss,
Emily Thompson 3:54
I mean, I'm wanting to try a new way. And we did our episode on meditation. And this is really opening me up to a new way of kind of a more feminine energy of receiving and chilling out and not having to like in this masculine startup way and a lot of these startups are started by doods so this is something to mention here but like this masculine whether or not your guy or gal or anything in between or outside of that, um, I just think that, you know, like this, this idea of just forcing it is what society has shown us. And I think that there could be another way but I also am not sure. What do you guys think about this? What do you think? Well,
Caitlin Brehm 4:36
first of all, do you to feel like you're obsessed with being boss and braid and Almanac Do you have a Do you feel obsessed? Like truly?
Emily Thompson 4:48
No, and I think I say no, because sometimes I have to turn it off in that like there are times. I think it was maybe this past Sunday morning. are something David and I were just lounging in bed taking a slow morning and we started talking about work like we often do just because we both work in the same businesses and something came up and, you know, 10 15 20 minutes into the conversation. I'm like, actually, you know what, I can't do this right now. Like, I just, I just really enjoy my Sunday like it being you know, Sunday, I don't really want to lay here and pillow talk business with you No offense. And I think, for you to be obsessed, you can't want to do that. Like you. You're not the person who's going to be one lazing about on a Sunday morning. And you're not going to be the person that says, let's not talk business right now. I think as session is going to have you up talking, doing pretty consistently. And that's just a Sunday morning for me. But that's also like, most weekends, and after 5pm. And before 9:30am. Like I come to work, and I'm obsessed with my business during my like work hours. But beyond that, I think I'm more obsessed with living and loving my life.
Emily Thompson 6:06
Yeah, so whenever I think about the word obsessed, I think about desperation, like there's something about like going for the hunt, right. And so we've talked about this before, over at braid, creative and then here on being bossed, like being a farmer versus a hunter. And so the idea of obsession feels like hunting, like going out for the kill getting your food. And I've certainly felt that and it's felt kind of like, desperate. And yes, I have certainly been obsessed with my businesses with braid and being boss and then obsessed with how to juggle the two. And it has been all consuming. And I also know that that's what's led to burnout in the times that I've been burned out. And so I really do feel like I've been doing a pretty good job this year of kind of going back to that farmer mentality, but also just this idea of trust. And so, like Emily, whenever I'm showing up to work, I'm incredibly focused. So like, that's where the word obsession might just translate to focus. I'm focused on what I'm doing, and I'm doing the best I can in those moments. And I find that whenever I'm not like desperate, I'm actually creating better work. And I'm creating it better and faster. And I'm able to be more articulate and get more done in less time. So I've learned through experience, that obsession has not worked. For me personally, like I don't like tensing up my body and muscling my way through all of it. I want to try a different way. And so yeah, I've certainly had like also, well, you know what I will say, though, I've never had like workaholic tendencies, even through obsession. So my obsessions probably been more like ruminating on business. But for the most part, I've always been really good about not working late into the evenings or on weekends. And especially since having a kid like that's just going to force you to have some work life balance that you might not have otherwise,
Emily Thompson 8:01
right. And I also feel like obsession comes like twofold. One, when you're just beginning, like when you haven't had the experience of like being a business owner or an entrepreneur, and you don't know what healthy boundaries are. Like, I always feel like it's like you become obsessed, when you don't know better, almost. And then too, when the stakes are too high. And I think of like, you know, if you're a company that is, you know, has venture capital, where you know, you have someone else's money on the line, or you know, if you're rushing for some crazy deadline, like it's not, I and I don't want to say normal business as if raising money for your business is not normal. But there are different ways of doing business that doesn't require obsession. And again, I think I think that like, I think the amount of energy that goes into obsession is not sustainable, where you know, the life as an entrepreneur that I want to build is one that is sustainable. And so I can't afford to be obsessed. I can't afford to expend all of my energy here. And now when I want to be doing this 1015 2030 years from now. So I like to think that I'll look back and not miss an obsession or like not feel like I missed out on obsessing over my business. And instead look back and see that I at least began early enough that once it was time for a once I had an ability to become obsession, I are obsessed, I knew better and didn't.
Emily Thompson 9:43
Ooh, that's a good point. Like I even almost think of it as like whenever you're in college, and you're working all the time, but you know, it's going to be four years or however long, five years maybe right but you are working long hours you might be working your college and then your part time job or full time job or a couple of full time jobs, if you were my nanny for a while, that's what she was doing. And it is a lot and it can burn you out. But there is this kind of time stamp on it being four years. And I think that the same is true with starting up a business, I think the problem is, is it's easy to get addicted to that rhythm and like that speed of working. And so it's really hard to come out of that. And I don't want to say that, you know, you can just start a business working 20 hours a week, if you're inexperienced at starting a business, you're probably going to have to work more than that. So I do think that there are just these phases and cycles and speeds of working. Also, I feel strongly that if you are working more than, I don't know, 40 hours a week, you're probably not very efficient. Like you need to figure something out in your process that's going to make you faster at what you're doing.
Caitlin Brehm 11:00
I can think it goes kind of back to what the recent episode with Brooke Castillo, and she said, How much time are you spending fretting and then calling that productivity. And I think when we get when we talk about like this startup sort of Silicon Valley, like that level of like, crazed obsession, it really is like, oh, we're having to do this code or whatever. But I think in this audience, the more creative entrepreneurial audience is there really that much work, too. I mean, like, there's always work to do, but like, so if you're working more than 40 hours a week, it's probably like you are fretting about your business in that downtime, and feeling like you're working, because you're thinking about it, because it's become an uncontrollable obsession. So it really is, I think, the mindset shift between obsession and like healthy enthusiasm about your business, you need to give yourself that time to experience life outside of it, let some more inspiration come to you so that you can go back with full force the next day.
Emily Thompson 12:07
I think that this is such a good point. Whenever I think about obsession, like it can go to the site of enthusiasm, like I have been enthusiastically obsessed with, for example, our book, I'm so excited, I love working on it. I've worked on it after hours. And that's been fine. Again, there's an expiration date on that, because eventually the book is going to be in the world. But then there's also worry. And that's the kind of obsession that has burned me out in the past is like this worrying about my business, and it pretends to be useful, like worry pretends to be useful, but it's just not like you can't live your life like that freaking out about money or your business or whatever.
Emily Thompson 12:46
Yeah, I agree with all those things. And another thing too, even like, go back to the like, Silicon Valley, or like startup realm, like obsession, like most of those people have immediate or not immediate, but relatively immediate exit strategies. were like, they're going to obsess over this for the next three years. And then they're going to take, you know, a couple million dollar check and walk away and like, and again, that gives them that that gives them that deadline. But it also makes it not a good role model. For those of us who are trying to build a sustainable business, I think like just looking at all of those things from all the angles is really important. But even more than that, like looking at yourself, and knowing what you need to be putting into your business. And on the on the forefront of working more than 40 hours a week or whatever, every time I've ever found myself working more than I should be working or feeling like I'm working too much. I always sit down and do the what's working, what's kind of working, what's not working exercise that we have, we'll put a copy of that in the show notes. And there's always things that I've become, or I've begun routinely doing that I don't need to be doing. Like if you give yourself 60 hours a week to work, you'll fill it with stuff. It may not all be important for your you know, ongoing success, but you'll do it and you will fill that time. Whereas if you give yourself 40 hours, you will get the most important stuff done within that 40 hours or less. So sometimes just taking a good look at what it is that you're spending your entire day doing will tell you whether or not your worry or enthusiasm or obsession is actually needed or not.
Emily Thompson 14:36
All right, excuse me while I pause this here and let you in on the exciting news. The being boss book is about to hit the shelves of a bookstore near you, Kathleen and I have taken years of conversations between ourselves and those we've had with experts and industry leaders here on the beam boss podcast, and have distilled them down into what we found makes you boss into a book that you can read Hold on your hands and share with a friend.
Emily Thompson 15:03
And we'd be lying if we didn't admit that we have a big dream with this book, we wanted to be a best seller. We want every creative in the world to cultivate the confidence it takes to take control of their work, and make money doing what they love so they can live life on their own terms. That's what our book is here to do. And we need your help to make it happen.
Emily Thompson 15:22
If you want to dive into the core of what it means to be boss and support us while you do it, it's time for you to preorder the book. And once you do that, let us know you bought it and we'll send you some goodies. Just go to Bing boss club slash book for links to purchase and for more information on how to claim your swag that's being involved clubs slash book. Now let's get back at it.
Emily Thompson 15:47
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Emily Thompson 16:01
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