Episode 25

Your Capacity to Have with Brooke Castillo

June 23, 2015

Brooke Castillo joins Emily and Kathleen on Being Boss to talk about her coaching philosophy and help us expand our minds to allow abundance into our lives. Brooke’s philosophy on coaching is that it’s all about feeling better, evolving to become the person you want to be, and recognizing that your thoughts will manifest in the world around you. You may know her from her podcast, The Life Coach School Podcast or for one of her many books such as Self Coaching 101.

Learn More about the Topics Discussed in this Episode
This Episode Brought to You By:
"The way to get to where you want is from within—understanding that deep sense of our own selves."
- Brooke Castillo

Discussed in this Episode

  • Being who you want to be and learning while you are at your day job or corporate job
  • "woo-woo" and spirituality as a deeper part of your business
  • Understanding your capacity to have
  • Understanding the real reason you don't have clients or success (yet!)
  • Managing your mind and the mind-body connection
  • Learning how to break down negative thoughts

featured download!

In this episode, the Map Out Your Thoughts worksheet was mentioned. Download your copy here!


More from Brooke Castillo

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Braid Creative

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Almanac Supply Co.


Kathleen Shannon 0:04
Get your business together, get yourself into what you do, and see it through.

Emily Thompson 0:10
Because being boss is hard, winning work and life is messy. Making your dream job of your own isn't easy.

Kathleen Shannon 0:18
But getting paid for it, becoming known for it. And finding purpose in it is so doable. If you do the one

Emily Thompson 0:27
being boss, a podcast for creative entrepreneurs from Emily Thompson and Kathleen Shannon, welcome to Episode 25 with our guest, Brooke Castillo.

Kathleen Shannon 0:37
All right, so I have to tell you all a little bit about our guest today, Brooke Castillo, I was just telling her before we got on the call that I was up early with a sick baby. And so he stayed home from daycare today, and I was taking him on a really long walk through our neighborhood. And I just popped on Brooks podcast, which is called Life Coach School. And it is so so good. So maybe just like hang up on this episode right now and just go listen to Brooks podcast, and like don't even bother with us. No, but I do I want to introduce you guys to Brooke I first learned about Brooke whenever actually Emily told me that I needed to read her book self coaching one on one. But I became most familiar with Brookes work. Whenever I did start bingeing on her podcast, called the Life Coach School, podcast, and Brookes philosophy on coaching is that it's all about feeling better, evolving to become the person that you really want to be and recognizing that your thoughts will manifest in the world around you. Some of my favorite episodes are where Brooke takes what she has studied from the masters and some of my favorites like Eckhart Tolly, Tony Robbins, Steven pressfield, and Byron Katie just to name a few. But she really takes what she's learned from these people and then translates it into real life actionable steps, for those of us who don't have the time, or the energy or the patience to weed through all of the amazing self help gurus out there. And Emily and I have both talked a lot on this show about how we've invested in coaching for our own lives and businesses. But today, you're going to get to hear from like the mother of all coaches. So I want you whenever you're listening to Brooke to I think you'll begin to see why investing in coaching and learning how to be your own coach is so so important. So hi, Brooke. Hi. Wow,

Brooke Castillo 2:31
that was like the best intro ever. I want you to always introduce me and love.

Kathleen Shannon 2:36
I mean, you could probably hire me to do that.

Unknown Speaker 2:40
follow you around national introducer. Karen today.

Unknown Speaker 2:44
I love it.

Brooke Castillo 2:45
Thank you so much. Yeah, of course.

Kathleen Shannon 2:47
So Brooke, let's start by just like telling our listeners a little bit about your journey. I was listening to one of your episodes where you were talking about going from a hair salon. Which is funny because Emily actually used to own a tanning salon,

Brooke Castillo 3:01

Kathleen Shannon 3:03
To go into corporate america and then to becoming your own boss. So I know that your path and what you've learned along the way would resonate big time with our listeners, if you could kind of just give us a little bit there. Sure.

Brooke Castillo 3:17
So I I've always kind of had this inkling about wanting to be an entrepreneur, I've always like felt that I wanted to do my own thing. So I started my first business when I was like 18 years old, it was called beatable bodies. And I was a personal trainer and I had killer business cards and brochures, I probably spent $1,000 I don't think I had one client, but it was kind of like my first like, I want to be an entrepreneur. And then I you know, had I went to school to be a psychologist, I study that in at Santa Clara University. And I was always interested in self help. So I kind of had the two things that I have now in my life, right, I had the interest in being an entrepreneur. And then I had the interest in self development and self help. So I really wanted to make sure that I was my own boss, but I also want to make sure I was helping people. And that's ultimately what I ended up doing. But it's kind of a long, long process to get there. So my first real business, the one that actually made money was the hair salon. I started in Colorado called Europa. And what I learned from that business is that it's very difficult to have employees and especially when those employees are hair stylists and creatives, like y'all crazy group of people. So, but I loved I loved the customers. I love the creative end of it. I loved being able to make all the decisions. That was amazing, that whole process and it really got me going got the bug of wanting to be an entrepreneur, but I didn't I had 25 employees. It was I was spending so much If my time managing employees that I decided that and especially the type of interaction because the deal was my business partner did hair, it wasn't a business person. And I did the business part but didn't do hair, I got my hair done a lot. I didn't do it. And so that kind of created that complex. So we decided to sell the business. And we did very well when we sold it. And we sold it to a woman who's still running it today. And it's amazing. So that that after that business, then I went back to corporate America, I had a couple babies stay at home with them. And then I went to Hewlett Packard, I had worked in Hewlett Packard. It's so funny now because it's such a long time ago, but I had worked there as an employee, and was the complete opposite. I was working as an hourly employee was the complete opposite of owning my own business. But I'm so thankful that I did that process, because it really helped me to understand like now when I'm dealing with students that want to leave corporate America, and they want to get out of that kind of I had my own little cubicle, had my little headset had the whole thing. So I totally understand it. But I also see that there's so much to learn there. And there's so much we can benefit from taking jobs like that. And here's let me just offer this to everyone who's listening, what one of the most important things if you're in a corporate job, and you don't want to be there. Or if you've had to go back to a corporate job for some reason. It's not about the work you're doing there. It's about who you get to be. And that's so powerful to know that like, it doesn't matter where you're working, you still get to be yourself. So if you're a creative, if you're a life coach, if you're an artist, you still get to be that even though the work you're doing there may not be directly related to that.

Kathleen Shannon 6:47
Amen. Can I just like stop and say Amen, because I will never tell someone to quit their job. And I think that a lot of people come to specifically mean, Emily, because they think that we're going to be like, Yeah, do it, just quit your job, screw the man, we're not going to do it. Like we're sorry. We know that you're looking for that permission, but it's permission that you can only give yourself, but I agree with you where there's so much that you can learn and do on someone else's dime. And part of that is just practicing being who you are, who says you can't come to work with tattoos or black nails or and it doesn't even have to be something like dramatic and gothy like that, but and I think that so many people are afraid to be who they are because of the rules. And I want to know who's making the rules? And could you try and challenge them a little bit while you're still at a day job? Because you're certainly going to have to be challenging them whenever you're working for yourself. Yes,

Brooke Castillo 7:45
absolutely. And I think like even just being creative, if you're a creative, like a lot of people say to me, Well, I want to be creative I need I need space to like do my art. And I'm like you don't need space to do your art. You can be creative in your current job. And those of my students that are life coaches, they're like, I want to be a life coach. I'm like honey, like in your job, you need to coach yourself first, before you're ever going to be able to coach someone else in a corporate job, because you're just going to tell them to quit, right? If you can't teach them how to manage themselves within it. So I'm so thankful for that experience. And I met my husband there too. So that was a huge bonus. Not bad.

Kathleen Shannon 8:23
And your husband works with you now. Right? Yeah, you guys work together?

Brooke Castillo 8:26
He's my business partner. Yeah.

Kathleen Shannon 8:28
How long has that been happening for?

Brooke Castillo 8:31
It's been almost eight years now. I think.

Kathleen Shannon 8:34
Yeah. A lot of the creatives that we work with an Emily also works with her partner in crime. And, um, so yeah, I think it's just interesting how many people work with their spouses and me I work with my siblings. She's my business problem. Nice. Awesome. Yeah. So it's fun. It's fun to keep it in the family.

Brooke Castillo 8:54
Well, I love it from for us it works like a lot of people. I don't think it would work if you have really similar skill sets and really similar strengths. I think it's more challenging. But my husband and I, we have completely different skill sets. He's very kind of detail oriented, and very patient. And I'm a quick start, and I like to get stuff done. And I'm very impatient. So that balance is it's perfect for us. So and we work really well together because he has his own work that has nothing to really do with the work that I do. So we're really running two separate things. So

Kathleen Shannon 9:30
speaking of impatience, and quick starting, tell me a little bit more about then you quitting your job? How did you know when and how to quit that to start your own thing? And I'm assuming that the thing that you started with life coaching,

Brooke Castillo 9:46
yes. So for me, I had always known. I remember when I was sitting in a cubicle with another woman and I had told her that you I wanted to quit. And I had been very successful. I had been promoted like four times in three years, which is unheard of. And I had really worked my butt off in there and really shown up. And I had told her, you know, I think I'm going to quit, and she was like, What are you talking about? You've just made it to this basic, you know, in corporate America, it's so great. And she was I only have 15 more years. And then I'm out of here. And I remember thinking, Oh, my God, oh, my God, like, I can't even believe that. You're willing to say she was unhappy on the job, you're willing to stay, you're 15 more years just to get paid. Like just to get some pinches, like that. I knew that was my moment. I was like, I gotta get the hell out of here. Because I think it's easy to become dependent on this idea of what it seems to be someone else taking care of you. You're really creating your own results, but it seems like someone else is taking care of you. And so that was like, huge for me. And I've always, you know, like, like I said, I always had kind of that entrepreneurial spirit. And I always was obsessed with self help, and and watched on an Oprah. This is when Oprah used to sing her own theme song do you guys. But yeah, she's to sing it was pretty bad. But um,

Kathleen Shannon 11:16
wait, how did it go? Can you do it?

Brooke Castillo 11:19
Like, deep low voice? I've muted totally, we're gonna we have to put that in your show notes. We have to show all right. Sure. So um, but what I saw Martha back on there, and she was talking about life coaching. And I was like, wait, what is that? I need that. I need to be that and the rest is totally history. I knew.

Kathleen Shannon 11:41
Did you go through life coach training with Martha

Brooke Castillo 11:43
I did when I used to You did? Well, when I went through it. It was back in the day. It was a two and a half day training. Really, it was touted as a three day training. But it was really two and a half days. And it was right after she had written them leaving the saints. So that was her book that she wrote on kind of her experience with Mormonism. And she got a lot of backlash for that. So there were only like eight people in my training. And we learned what she taught us was the arm thing. Did you guys learn the arm thing? When you went through the training? Like,

Kathleen Shannon 12:16
is it where you hold something? And then your arm is? Yeah, okay. I don't know that. She taught that. But I've read it. Maybe I read it. In one of her books.

Brooke Castillo 12:23
We learned the arm thing. And we learned Byron Katie's work, which completely changed my life. If you don't know who Byron Katie is just look her up. She's amazing. And so that was really we learn the four four question turn around and that my life was completely changed. Yeah, so for sure. And then I ended up after I worked with Martha to when she moved her business from in person to online. I worked with her for about a year helping her do that whole process. So I love it. She's me.

Kathleen Shannon 12:51
She's so great. Whenever I was starting to look for life coaching school, I, well, here's what happened is that I was doing branding and business visioning for creative entrepreneurs. And I learned along the way that the personal and professional were overlapping. So I would do someone's brand identity and say, Okay, here's your platform, you're good to go out into the world. And they'd be like, Oh, this is beautiful. But I need to tell you something, I'm going through divorce, what should I do? And I was like, I'm so not equipped to like, I mean, I'm equipped as a person and human being to have this conversation. But I felt like I needed a little bit more backing behind that. And so I was looking for different coaches to go through training with and Rene Brown is one of my clients. So I asked Bernie, I was like, Hey, I'm trying to choose between Do you know anything about Martha Beck? She's like, Oh, I love Marty, you've got to, you've got to do life coach training with her. So I went through that, and it just it really did change my life. I mean, it just gave me so many tools and confidence that I continue to share along the way. And that's what I love about Martha Beck and that's what she taught me even in my business is just to give it all away. Like if you can just keep giving so that other people keep giving. It's like the opposite of a pyramid scheme. It's like a pyramid.

Brooke Castillo 14:12
Martha really, genuinely is just the giver. She just wants she does not care really genuinely about what she's getting back. She just really has so much shot for the world. And she is literally one of the funniest people I know. She is whole funny. Love her.

Kathleen Shannon 14:29
So one of the things that I love about Martha Beck and that I really like about you whenever I listen to your podcast, is that there is obviously a lot of smarts there like you're obviously smart and Martha back to you and with all the degrees in psychology, but then there's also a certain amount of what we call around here woowoo and it's something that I have found and like a deepening spirituality whenever I started my business as a creative entrepreneur, and it's like, I don't identify with any sort of religion, necessarily. But as I started my own business, I found that I had to find some faith somewhere. And for me, I call it the universe, I've been able to find it out there. And I find that more and more creatives that Emily and I are both working with and talking to you, they're really starting to see the connection between being a creative entrepreneur and being able to kind of tap into the universe or God or whatever you want to call it. Can you speak on that a little bit? Do you have any thoughts there? Yeah, I

Brooke Castillo 15:31
mean, I think that and talk about woowoo, I learned all my woowoo from Martha. But I think as you start coaching yourself, as you increase your awareness, with yourself, you can't help but tap into something deeper, and whatever you want to call that, like spirituality, God, whatever the term you use, I believe it's all the same thing. And I believe we get too caught up in the terminology of things, and we miss out on the messages. But what I have found with my clients and with myself is, the more I pay attention to my brain and how much control I have over it, and how it's just really a tool, the more I'm able to really access this deeper knowing that I don't know where that's coming from that deeper understanding. And I have no way of explaining that other than spirituality and being tuned into something that's much, much bigger than me. And I think that's where it all starts, right. That's where that sense of peace. And that sense of that connectedness is really what is makes it able to create everything we want our life. So, for example, people will come to me and say, I want to lose weight, I want to make a million dollars, right? Or I want to find the love of my life. Those are, what else is that? Right? Right. And so the way to get there is really, I think from within, like understanding that deeper sense of our own selves and kind of removing all the noise that's preventing us from getting those things. And yes, we can ultimately get those things. But what we realize is that it's so if you think about like, I want to make a million dollars, the reason why you want to make a million dollars is because of how you think it'll make you feel to have that money. But if you think about that, you can create that feeling now, right? By tapping into that kind of well of the Whoo. Right, then you realize that stuff, just easy. That's just actually something you can manifest. Because you already feel that way. You don't have to go get that in order to feel that way. So that's kind of my understanding of my way of approaching spirituality. And I would say in it, people say I'm much more practical than I am woowoo. But I think everything starts with that understanding. What do you guys think? What are your thoughts? On the woowoo?

Kathleen Shannon 17:58
Yeah, like manifests? Yeah. I mean, I do, and I've heard you say this on your podcast, I do believe that every single thought that you have will manifest itself. And it really is interesting to see how that happens. I mean, someone had to think of this phone. And it happened. I mean, you everything that you see was created. And I don't know, I think that I had my biggest like woowoo experience whenever I got pregnant with my baby. And I found that as my body was growing, my business was growing. Like I it was just a really magical time to manifest. So ladies out there, if you are pregnant, don't think of it as like, holding you back kind of thing. Because I think that the opportunity to tap into growth in your body and in the world. And in your business. It's I think it's all combined. And so that was huge for me, and then actually birthing the baby. I mean, I mean, anyone who's had a baby or not had a baby, there's just a lot of lessons to be learned in that. But But that was the biggest thing. I could literally see it before my eyes, like my belly is growing. But so was my bank account. So are my business opportunities. It was really incredible. Love it. And I don't know that I can explain it. But I don't think you can explain spirituality, right. It's just fun to observe it. And so ever since then I like to just actually sit back and observe the manifesting happening. And I think that's why it's so important on a more practical level to write down your goals so that whenever it happens, you have proof that you wrote it down, it becomes your proof. So yeah, but I liked when I was listening to your podcast today this morning. And you said something about? It kind of made me think about creative entrepreneurs being overwhelmed a lot and you said something, I think that you can even get overwhelmed by the good stuff. Even Emily and I were talking the other day about even the success of this podcast. We're about to have a retreat in New Orleans. And there's lots of good things happening. But it can feel like our capacity is about to like short out, right? Like, we're just we're getting so much energy, how do we handle it? Oh,

Brooke Castillo 20:13
I love that. Because I talked about this with my students like, what is your capacity to have? Like, that's such a cool question like, what it? How much capacity do you have for having? Or do you get overwhelmed by it? And I think the more you can increase that capacity and talk about your Whoo, right, and talk about understanding how much abundance and how much ability you really have, that's what opens your life up. People think, Oh, I have capacity for anything that I want my life. But then as soon as they start receiving, they start freaking out. Even my clients that lose weight are freaking out by it. I think that's totally

Kathleen Shannon 20:49
fast. So what do you think are some good tools for increasing capacity? Because I think that there is, there's tools for understanding what you want for identifying I want to be a millionaire, there's tools for goal setting, but what are the tools for expanding your capacity to receive? Okay, so

Brooke Castillo 21:05
this is the way I like to think about it. I don't think we have to expand our capacity to receive right. So I think that the answer to the question is what is your capacity for having is limitless? That has to be the answer. The only thing that's limiting it is the way you're thinking. So you have to think about like for you guys, when you think about my podcast is very successful. We're having this retreat, it's all coming in. What are you thinking about that you you might assume that all of your thoughts about that are going to be positive and wonderful Rainbows, but you're going to notice, like, some people have thoughts like oh my gosh, it's all going to go away tomorrow? Or Oh, my gosh, the expectation must be so high, or Oh, they're going to find me out. Right is another one like, what do you guys know what's coming up for you? Like what's being triggered? I think that the only thing that prevents your capacity to happen.

Kathleen Shannon 21:58
And so then it's kind of like that Byron, Katie work? Yeah, you have to see when the opposite is true. You guys, if you're not familiar, maybe I'll do a minisode. To follow up with this one on Byron. Katie's for question turnaround. So stay tuned on Friday, I will be talking about that. Because it's it changed my life to loosen the grip on a negative thought by seeing when the opposite is true. And it's just a series of questions.

Brooke Castillo 22:25
Well, let me offer this to though I think that So if, for example, when you start it like with you guys are so successful, like So Emily, give me an example of something that's come up for you that has been maybe surprisingly negative when it comes to success? Are you aware of anything?

Emily Thompson 22:42
Yeah, for me,

Unknown Speaker 22:43
it for me, it's

Emily Thompson 22:44
like massive tiredness and almost like, brain, tiredness, not even like body because that's, and that's one of the things and like my woowoo practice, like I found that, that to increase my capacity in air quotes, it's it's about leveling out everything in your life. So like, if you have relationships that are super taking up lots of energy feel if you can level those out, then everything else can kind of rise to meet, I think. So for me, one of the things that I struggle with the most is simply mental fatigue, and practicing to get all the things done.

Brooke Castillo 23:19
Okay. Yeah, so one of the things that you can do is, this is what everyone's tempted to do, right. So what happens is, you start getting a lot of success, and then you start feeling overwhelmed. And you'll say, Oh, the reason I'm feeling overwhelmed is because I have so much to do now. But that's not the reason you're feeling overwhelmed. The reason you're feeling overwhelmed is because of what's going on in your brain. So when you try to like control externally, like fix and do lesson, dial things back that all you're trying to do is control from the outside in. And what I recommend is that you really look at what's going on in your brain. How are you really feeling? How are you really thinking about growth and success? And you will be shocked at what comes up because you think, Oh, no, I want success. But if you really want it, there's going to be a lot of obstacles to getting it right. And that's going to be the way that you're thinking about it. And so you're going to start thinking, instead of thinking about your capacity to have, you're going to think about your capacity to do so the difference between our capacity to have and our capacity to do need to be separated. Because what happens is, and this may be why you're feeling so mentally fatigued, right? The more abundance we have in our life, we associate that with what we're able to do. So like for example, when I say to people, do you want to make a million dollars? A lot of people say no, and they say the reason why is I don't want to work that hard. So a lot of times what will happen is we'll start getting a lot of abundance, we'll start getting a lot of really positive things and we'll start associating that with how much we have to do and what I want to offer is that if you manage your mind you are capable of so much more than you think you are right but having that constant influx of Mint needs to be, I would say managed in a really careful, compassionate way, which you may not understand. So when you start seeing negative thoughts, and this is for all of us, right, when we start seeing negative thoughts come up, just I like to say just put it, put that sentence in the palm of your hand and look at it and just pick Oh, that's interesting. That's interesting that that's coming into my life when I'm attracting so much abundance, because otherwise, you'll start pushing it away saying, I can't do anymore, you don't have to do any more to receive more abundance. And in fact, what I've found is that the more abundance I receive willingly, the less I have to do, which is amazing. Yeah.

Emily Thompson 25:37
Oh, that's good. I remember. So you came in on on a group coaching call with Kendrick in December, I think it was, I remember you handy my asked me in that meeting. In a really good way, in a really, really good way. And I think it was similar around the same thing. So you know, you were sort of group coaching all of us and, and I think this is something that comes up for our our people a lot. It was come, we were coming up on like Christmas break. And I was trying to launch like six websites in two weeks, or something crazy like this. And you know, my team was here, we were all kind of stressed out, but totally doing it. And, of course, they're never as stressed as I am. Because that's just what I choose to do is be stressed apparently. And I remember you, you coaching me through that with a similar thing with this idea that it simply is what you think about it. And whether whether you're trying to launch a course, or launch six websites in two weeks, or build a podcast that is somehow booming out of you know, five and a half or five months of doing this, I think that I think that they don't know, the way you put things is so helpful. And it really is just this idea of how it is that you choose to choose to think about stressful situations. And if you're going to give into it or simply do

Brooke Castillo 26:56
well, and the way that you think about things sometimes isn't conscious. So like what I would ask you guys to do is how do you want to think about your podcast? Like even when you think about it? Sometimes these thoughts sound so positive, like we're booming, but like I can tell when you say you're kind of like what the hell?

Kathleen Shannon 27:15
I didn't expect it. We did expect it. So I think it's almost like we're more surprised that we imagined it. And it came true. modally

Brooke Castillo 27:26
Yeah. But then

Kathleen Shannon 27:28
like, then us not imagining it. And it coming. You know, we imagine we made it happen. Yeah,

Brooke Castillo 27:34
don't you think that has to do something with like realizing how powerful you really are, though. It's like, all of a sudden, you're like,


like, check this out. We are so what else could we do. And I think sometimes that can feel exhilarating, but also a little bit scary. So just really paying attention to those little other things that come along with it will be really important because I've seen so many people do this where they start to explode. And then they're like, Oh, my God, they have to dial it back. Just because they're not paying attention to the other little things that come up, you know, because, and one of the things that I tell my students to think about is think about, like 10 times this, this success, right? What if you were to have 10 times the followers and people paying attention and coming to New Orleans and all of that, like, when you wrap your mind around that then this becomes easier, right? You'd have gets bigger. I didn't even remember that. I didn't even make that connection that that was you and Kendra. Yeah, it was, Oh,

Emily Thompson 28:29
it was the most like exhilarating phone call I've ever had, like, I got off if I had to go take a nap. Like, I remember going home and telling David I was like, I'm going upstairs Do not talk to me for an hour like, and I had all this stuff do that process. And as soon as I had to take it out and then and then we did, we launched all of the websites, they were all fantastic. It all happened we had a fantastic Christmas break. But it really is just changing that those mindsets around like stressful situations, or, or hard times or whatever. And for us, it really was or for me, it really was just realizing that you know it is abundance and you do it and you enjoy your life. And it's just what you choose to think about it in the process so

Kathleen Shannon 29:12
hard being so abundant. I know that the creatives listening to this, we're like, oh my god, I'm gonna kill you guys, because I just need one client.

Unknown Speaker 29:21
I know we're assets.

Kathleen Shannon 29:23
Like they're gonna be so mad. So let's talk about the creative who just wants one client?

Brooke Castillo 29:27
Yes. Okay. So it's the same thing though. This is the this is the thing, whether you believe that you're going to sell your, you know, huge retreat in New Orleans or whether you think you're going to get that one client believing in that possibility. So if you just want one client, and you believe that your capacity to have is unlimited than what are you believing that's preventing you from getting that one client and they will always be able to tell you if they say I don't know you say okay, but If you didn't know, and then they'll tell you well, I don't think I'm good enough, or I don't think I have what it takes or so it's either about them, or it's what they believe about the client, the client doesn't have enough money, the client can't find me, the client, whatever, it's always going to be something as soon

Kathleen Shannon 30:14
as you clean that up, boom, I'm telling you what you have to believe in the possibility of your ability and their willingness. And it doesn't seem like it's just like magic of believing, but it's that your behaviors and actions follow the thought. So then you're actually doing things in real life, to put yourself out there in the way that really attracts the people that you need to attract. Yeah, so

Brooke Castillo 30:41
this is what I would say to like one of your listeners that may say, I just want one client, I would ask them, why do you only have one client? That like, it seems like such a simple question, but they're going to tell you well, because this is what I believe, or this is what I feel, or this is what I'm doing or not doing. There's always an answer. And I really, I think that is such good news, right? There's a reason why you don't have a client. And it's a solvable reason. Right, right here. It's because I think what people think is that they think the reason they don't have a client is because they're not good enough, and has nothing to do with that. The reason you may not have a client is because you have a marketing problem. The reason you may not have a client is because you haven't asked anyone to be I can't even tell you how often that's the reason, right? They just haven't ever asked. They haven't offered their services to anyone. So I think I've seen way. talented people have no success. And I've seen people that aren't talented at all have crazy success. The only difference is do they manage their own mind period? I'm sure you guys have seen the same thing with the people that Yeah, yeah times.

Kathleen Shannon 31:50
Today's episode is brought to you by fresh books. Fresh books is the easy to use invoicing software designed to help creative entrepreneurs get organized, save time invoicing, and get paid faster. So one of the great freshbooks features that I want to share today is time tracking. I don't personally build my projects based on the amount of time that I spend on them. But it is so good to know how much time I am spending on each project that I do. And freshbooks has great tools to help you with that. You can record your billable hours, you can use team time tracking. So if you have multiple team members, they can log their time by project, you can track time with multiple rates. So if you have different staff rates, or project rates or task rates, or even flat rates, you can track your time that way. And you can also monitor team progress and know how and where time is spent, which is crucial. If you are growing your team. Stay on top of your business with a clear picture of its financial health. Try fresh books for free today, go to freshbooks comm slash being boss and enter being boss in the How did you hear about us section? Alright, back to our episode. All right, I have just one more thing that I would like to touch on before we hang up. Um, so managing your mind. So one of the ways that I do that, and we've talked about this on this show is meditation, but I like working out. And so I'm curious. And that's one of the ways I manage my mind. I schedule my workouts, I don't miss it. It's important, and it's a way I invest in myself daily. So I am curious to hear from you. Having had this background in beatable bodies. And now coaching, I'm curious what you think about the mind body connection, and maybe even the spirituality of your body? And how that can affect things like your business or your relationships or even your own mind?

Brooke Castillo 33:52
Yeah, I mean, I think it's everything. I think, you know, when I first started out as a coach, the only work that I did was with weight loss clients. And the reason why we weigh what we weigh, the reason why our body is the way it is, is because of our mind, period, we want to make it about our body. But there is there's no way of blaming our body without utilizing our mind. So the mind body connection is everything. And so even just you going to work out, right, even just you saying I do it, this is what I do, I've decided ahead of time that that's what's going to happen period. And then sure you go even when you don't feel like it because it's a decision that you've made. So I think that the mind creating the body is very important. But I also think listening to our bodies is so important. And that's one thing like with my weight loss clients is so important like listening to the wisdom of what is within the body. When is it hungry? When is it for when is it genuinely tired? And when is it not genuinely tired and when does it need to work out? So I think utilizing both of those things is so, so important. And one of the things when you ask like how does the body have To deal with spirituality, I think that one of the most important things you can know is that you are given this body for a reason. So if you're obese, if you're dealing with being overweight, if you have any kind of medical issue, there's an important reason like, I don't think there's any mistakes. And I think everything is an opportunity for us to become more of who we are. So really accepting what your body is, and how your body is now, in this moment, I think is the key to all spirituality, right? Because it's like Byron Katie's work, it's accepting and not arguing with reality, and being in that space. And as soon as you do that, that's when you get authority of your body. And you can create it in however way that you want. It's really important. So when you talk about managing your mind, I think that exercise helps. And I think that meditation helps, but I think the act of actually paying attention and utilizing your brain in a really like logical effective way, I think, is one of the best ways that you can create anything you want your life, like really actively, like looking at what's in there. What's going on in my brain, and what's working and what isn't. And taking an interest in that is really,

Kathleen Shannon 36:18
is there a way that you can map that out? I mean, I know you've written a ton of books, and you coach a school, and it's probably all about looking at that as a tool. But is there a way that you can kind of help us visualize how you see that?

Brooke Castillo 36:31
Yeah, totally. So all of your feelings are caused by your mind. Now you think your feelings are caused by your stressful situation, but they never are, right? So your, your emotions are always caused from what you are thinking about. So as soon as you feel anything that's not desirable in terms of an emotion, you have to ask yourself, what I'm just feeling my thinking. So what am I thinking, and one of the things I like to do is the thought download, so I sit down, and I write down all the thoughts that I'm having about that situation. And sometimes you'll look at them and you'll be like, Oh, my God, no wonder I feel the way I do. It's so negative, or it's so you know, derogatory, or whatever. And then I look at those thoughts. Now, I usually just pick one of those thoughts and run it through a thought model. So what that means is, if you're not familiar with my work, what it means is, I look at that thought, and I asked myself, What is that thought feel like? And what does that feeling cause me to do or not do? And when I do that thing, what is the result I get? And the result is always going to be evidence for that thought. So when you can separate out your situation, from your thinking, what you'll realize is you're either making that situation worse, or you're making it better based on what you're thinking and all of your power is within your thinking. So first, you have to know what you're thinking, which most of us have no idea. And then once you know what you're thinking, right? Once you're aware of it, that you're halfway there, then you can decide, do I want to keep thinking this? Or do I want to believe something different? And from there, that's when you can start making those shifts. But a lot of times we don't even we just say oh, I had a stressful day. There's no such thing as a stressful day, right? It's how you're thinking about your day that's creating that stressful feeling within you. So I think that's a an amazing practice is whenever you feel a negative, you have that signal of negative emotion, remind yourself, okay, that's because of a thought I'm thinking and then write it down, get it out of your brain and onto paper. It's really, I think, the most powerful thing to do.

Kathleen Shannon 38:32
Yeah, taking responsibility for your own thoughts and when it's manifesting around you, crucial, crucial. Alright, Brad, how can our listeners engage with you? Where are you at? Where can we find you?

Brooke Castillo 38:47
I'm at the Life Coach School comm I have a podcast I actually have a podcast called the Life Coach School podcast. I'm starting another one. That's all gonna be all about business and how to build a life coaching practice and all of the kind of marketing steps there so you can find me on iTunes just search for breakfast do or you can go to Life Coach School comm I have a lot of free

goodies over there as well.

Kathleen Shannon 39:09
Hey, guys, I wanted to tell you about something fun that we're doing. Coming up this fall, Emily and I decided that we wanted to go on vacation to New Orleans, one of our favorite cities in the world. And we thought wouldn't it be fun if we invited you to come along? Go to being boss calm slash Nola, and learn more about taking a vacation with us. We hope to see you there.

Emily Thompson 39:33
Did you know that you can get exclusive secret episodes of being boss over on our website? Check us out at loving boss calm and enter your name and email to receive a download link straight to your inbox. As a recording date for this podcast. Our first secret episode of

Unknown Speaker 39:49
cultivating confidence

Unknown Speaker 39:51
has been released.

Emily Thompson 39:52
And we'll be releasing new secret episodes to our subscribers only each quarter. Download yours now at love being boss.com Thank you for listening to be involved with Emily Thompson and Kathleen Shannon find the show notes for this episode at love being boss calm was in the past episodes and subscribe to new episodes on iTunes, SoundCloud and Stitcher. If you like our podcast show us some love for her reviewing being both on iTunes and sharing with a friend. Do the work. Be box and we'll see you next week.

Brooke Castillo 41:10
See what the boat find out what waits for me. I see 10,000 stories and glories and dreams. See angels right here on her.

See what's the